People in your 20s, how do you go about meeting and making new friends?
I've been trying to meet and make new friends but haven't had any luck. People are usually busy or don't respond. I've checked meetup, but it's always 30s who go, it's like us 20s don't like any of the groups on there so we don't go or don't go because we don't see anyone else our age go.
I'm also not really the type to go to bars and stuff, so that doesn't work either.
Thread via Reddit
There are hundreds, if not thousands, of inquiries like the one you see above. Regardless of age, making friends as an adult is difficult. People look to technology to seek advice, however, the solution begins with your own mindset.
"If you believe it will work out, you'll see opportunities. If you believe it won't, you will see obstacles." - Wayne Dyer
How do you view making new friends? As an obstacle or an opportunity?
We’re here to show you the opportunities that you might have overlooked. Seven habits that can help you make friends easily. As with any habit, they take time before becoming a part of your second nature, however, with practice you’ll be making new friends with ease!
Habit #1: Smile
Image via Vulture
Smiling is the universal sign for happiness. It is a simple way to show people that you are enjoying their time and company.
Smiling is also contagious – when you smile, people you’re speaking are more likely to smile, signaling their brain that they are happy and enjoying your company.
If you begin to feel nervous or unsure of how to approach others, start with a deep breath a smile. Give it a try, the next time you’re around people - at the grocery store, a coffee shop, the gym - whatever it may be, smile and say hi to someone around you. The more you practice, the less intimidating it becomes!
Habit #2: Remember Names
"The average person is more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world put together." – Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People
Now that you have a big smile, the next habit to include is remembering the other person’s name. We understand this can be the hardest part of meeting someone new, an easy trick is to repeat the person’s name back to them, this can be particularly helpful if you’re in a noisy room!
Habit #3: Practice Empathetic Listening
"You have to build the skills of empathic listening on a base of character that inspires openness and trust." -Stephen Covey, 7 Habit of Highly Effective people
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People
As you can see, our friendship experts Covey and Carnegie both discovered the importance of listening to make meaningful relationships. Empathetic listening means staying present and paying attention to what the other person is saying. Instead of focusing on what you’re going to say next, repeat what the other person is saying in your head or paint a picture of their story if you are a visual person. Connections are made through genuine interest.
Habit #4: Focus on the Positives
Social people can feel like a light around others, from their smile to their discussions. They have an ability to present themselves in a positive manner. And guess what, this is something anyone can do!
Your conversations are a reflection of your inner dialogue. Like smiling, complaining is also contagious so rather than getting sucked into the black hole of negativity, think happy thoughts!
Think this, “I’m at a time in my life where I’m excited to meet new people!”
Not that: “I have no friends.”
Think this, “I’m taking steps and learning how to meet new people.”
Not that: “I’m bad at meeting people.”
Think this, “I’m taking chances and trying new things to discover what I like.”
Not that: “I don’t like going out and rather stay at home.”
Now, when talking to people, this is your new mindset. Express your excitement to talk to them, your goal to meet new people, and desire to try new things. You never know if they have people they can introduce you to, a group you can join, or a hobby you both share!
Habit #5: Treat Everyone Like Your Friend
Have you ever met someone that loves small talk? Someone that has their fingers crossed, practically begging someone to ask what the weather is supposed to be over the weekend. Someone who leaps up to be a part of a conversation discussing what the traffic was like on the way to work.
One of the best ways to make new friends is to treat that person like they are your friend already! Rather than awkwardly navigating conversation topics and small talk, ask thoughtful questions that elicit a response.
On the other hand, have you ever met a new person and immediately clicked? You shared common interests, ideas or beliefs that allowed conversation to flow easily and naturally. This habit works perfectly alongside Empathetic Listening. If you are truly interested in what the other person has to say, it will be easier to get to know them and have a thoughtful conversation.
Habit #6: Meet People In Real Life
Image via Giphy
How often have you met someone online but never got around to committing to a plan to meet in person. If you aren’t meeting new people in real life, then you are missing one of the greatest opportunities at forming a new friendship.
“If what you’re doing isn’t working, you have to figure out what else to try. For instance, if you like hiking, join a hiking group or club. You can even consider getting an app to help you find new friends.” – Nicole Sbordone, Surviving Female Friendships: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
We like the sound of that! According to research published in The Telegraph, “we choose our friends mainly because we have shared interest.” On Frendli, we base our matches on shared interests in order to help our users make lasting, genuine connections! Meet amazing, new people online and then try out these new habits in real life.
Habit #7: Make Friendship a Priority
Body builders make a commitment to work out. Chefs make a commitment to cook. Authors make a commitment to write. Social people make a commitment to their friends.
“A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided.” - Tony Robbins
To turn your social life from an idea to a habit, you need to make a commitment to your friends. Begin by setting a goal for yourself. For example, meeting with friends once a week. Or meeting with a new friend twice a month. These are achievable goals that will make a big difference in your social life.
Anyone can be a highly social person once they begin maintaining social habits.
Subscribe to Frendli.com Blog
Get the latest posts delivered right to your inbox